My 2011 Naughty Holiday Card

Happy Holidays, everyone!!!

 

A helluva a lot has happened to the SexWitch since my last blog post.  Whew!  December is gonna be full of more news, so I'll tell you all about that in my next blog post.

 

However this one is dedicated to my ever-popular Naughty Holiday Card.

 

Yay!!!

 

If you've been with me for a while, you know every year at this time I create a Naughty Holiday Card.  I used to print a limited edition of 100 cards and mail them out to everyone who sent me a snail mail addy. 

 

Last year I decided that wasn't fair to everyone so I started posting it on my blog.  That way all my fans and readers can enjoy my delightfully perverted mind during the holidays. 

 

This year I decided to post a card that was a fav when I mailed paper cards years ago.  Of course, I get more wicked every year so I couldn't resist updating it.  Duh.

 

Enjoy!!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

The Twelve Days of X-mas

 

 

On the Twelve days of X-mas (as in X marks the G-spot) may your True Love bring to you...

 

...One thick cock bobbing at attention or one sopping wet pussy (your choice...See how generous I am?)

 

...Two gift certificates to an online sex shop

 

...Three passionate kisses

 

...Four jolts to your libido

 

...Five erotic dreams

 

...Six secret admirers

 

...Seven massages with flavored oil (lick, lick)

 

...Eight wicked sex toys

 

...Nine gorgeous bods to ogle (or fuck if you're into a puppy pile ménage...Hey, sounds good to me, let's DO IT!!!)

 

...Ten extra sex pheromones

 

...Eleven slooooooooow licks with a naughty tongue

 

...Twelve nights of smokin hot sex

 

...and a New Year filled with lots of lust and no regrets (I mean, guilt is such a downer, ya know? *sex-obsessed grin*)

 

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS from the SEXWITCH!

 

*smooches*

 

 

Laura Stamps (c)
Pagan Paranormal Erotica Novelist
(HOT vampires, shapeshifters, witches)
Email: laurastamps18@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.avampskiss.blogspot.com
My Kindle ebooks (all $0.99): http://ht.ly/4GPqd
Blog: http://www.erotica-laurastamps.blogspot.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/sexwitch
Pagan-Place: http://www.pagan-place.com/profile/LauraStamps
Google Plus: http://www.gplus.to/SexWitch

Where is the LOVE???

All I can say is I'm glad I'm taking this month off for my semi-vacation (I'm trying! I'm trying!), cause December is gonna be hectic as hell for this SexWitch.  

 

"Truly Naughty" (my 4th memoir) will be coming out soon.  As well as December interviews, flash fiction, giveaways, and guest blog posts at the Madame D's Boudoir, Books-n-Kisses, and Silk Labyrinth blogs.

 

Whew!

 

Speaking of my semi-vacay, I thought I was doing a lousy job of it.  I did.  For such an easy-going chick, drama sure likes to nip at my cute little ass.  And this month has been full of it.  Yeesh!

 

But last night (the Mourning Moon Esbat) I got a chance to crash and meditate for an hour.  Wow, relaxation at last.  What's that?  *lol*

 

Naturally, my mind wandered to men, sex, love and relationships.  Gee, what a surprise!

 

Not really.  The last two weeks have been kinda intense for me in those areas (don't worry, everything is good now).  It seems this has also been true for several of my fans and readers.

 

Let me explain.  Most of the women who are close friends of mine are sexual, sweet, affectionate women with BIG hearts.

 

Sounds good, huh?

 

Kinda.  If you're a woman with a big heart you tend to give love all day long to everyone around you.  It's a natural for us.  On the downside, if you're not careful there's nothing left of you at the end of the day.  That means we not only need to refuel but also receive love and affection from those we love.  This can't be a one-sided thing.

 

Hey, I know we're supposed to be strong women who love ourselves and take good care of ourselves.  And we are.  But if you're also an affectionate, sexual woman there's an empty place in your life that can't be filled by anything other than the love and affection of the man you love. 

 

It's true.  Sometimes I wish it wasn't.  But it is.

 

Unfortunately, some men tend to take sweet, affectionate, loving women for granted.  I mean, we're strong.  We're always there when he needs us.  We're forgiving.  We're compassionate.  We're positive.  We're always in a good mood.  

 

And because of this, many times we get left behind.  Some how, some way we end up last place on our mens' daily list of priorities, which means we get little or no affection in return. 

 

We deserve better treatment.  We do!

 

I've been receiving letters in the last week from women like this.  Loving, sexual, sweet, giving women who are lonely as hell in their relationships because the men they love have put them last place on their list of priorities.  There's always some crisis or some reason why they can't give the women they "love" the affection and TIME they deserve every day.

 

As you all know, I've been there myself more than once.  It sucks.  And not in a good way.

 

Ladies, we deserve better.  We deserve to be recognized for what we are....a treasure!  We deserve a man who will put us first place on his list of priorities NO MATTER WHAT. 

 

I don't care how busy or crazy his life is.  If he truly loves you he will make room for you every day.  And I'm not talking 10 minutes of time.  I mean all the time you need...and some...because he loves and values you.

 

So don't give up!

 

Do everything you can to make the relationship you're in work.  But if it doesn't, don't give up on yourself.  There is a man who will spoil you with all the affection you deserve every day.

 

You've just gotta get out there so he can find you.  Or maybe he's been in your life for a while, quietly waiting for you to recognize him.  Hey, it happens.  *wink*

 

Love you all dearly.  You know I do!!!

 

*muuuaaahhh*

 

Laura Stamps (c)
Pagan Paranormal Erotica Novelist
(HOT vampires, shapeshifters, witches)
Email: laurastamps18@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.avampskiss.blogspot.com
My Kindle ebooks (all $0.99): http://ht.ly/4GPqd
Blog: http://www.erotica-laurastamps.blogspot.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/sexwitch
Pagan-Place: http://www.pagan-place.com/profile/LauraStamps

How Naughty is the SexWitch?

Verrrrrrry!  But who doesn't know that, right?  lmao!!

 

I'm thinking naughty these days cause my 4th memoir, "Truly Naughty," will be coming out soon.  If you haven't read my erotic nonfiction "Memoir Series," here are the first three books and links for them in the Kindle store so you can catch up:

 

1.) Being Naughty ($0.99 in Kindle)

http://www.amazon.com/Being-Naughty-Erotica-Novelist-ebook/dp/B003WEA0G0/ref=sr_1_8?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1320270512&sr=1-8

 

 

2.) Still Naughty ($0.99 in Kindle)

http://www.amazon.com/Still-Naughty-Erotica-Novelist-ebook/dp/B0045OUI0O/ref=pd_sim_kinc_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2

 

 

3.) Always Naughty ($0.99 in Kindle)

http://www.amazon.com/Always-Naughty-Erotica-Novelist-ebook/dp/B004LGTR5S/ref=pd_sim_kinc_2?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2

 

 

This "Memoir Series" is made up of the best posts from this blog.  It's a fun series to read cause it's packed with HOT sex (well, it is my life *lol*).  But it also chronicles the ups and downs of my marriage to an Uber Alpha man (that's the hysterically funny part), as well as how my career has progressed since this blog was started in the summer of 2008 on LiveJournal (that's the crazy part).

 

What can I say?  My life is wilder than fiction.  Always has been, always will be, always changing...for the BETTER!!  *wink*

 

In other news, I'm trying to relax more now that I've taken the month of November off for a kinda semi-vacation.  Ya know, my quest to get a life again.  

 

What have I done so far?

 

I've cut back on my computer time.  Yay!  My Yule cards are finished.  I decided to hand-make the ones I snail mail this year.  Don't worry.  I'll still post my "Naughty Holiday Card" for all of you to read on this blog in December.

 

And my love life with my yummy Fey mate is better than ever.  I do LOVE that man!!  *swoon*

 

However, something really cool happened last week.  When I went to my acupuncture doc in September I asked him why the sides of my feet behind my ankles were hurting.  Especially when I run that first mile every night.

 

He told me it was my Achilles tendon.  He said this is a common ailment for long distance runners.  Seems when my running got up to 15 miles per week it put extra pressure on that area, and I developed Achilles tendonitis.

 

Eeeeeeeeeek!

 

He showed me two stretches to do, and they helped.  But a week later I was still in so much pain I decided to see what I could find on the web.  Surely, there are exercises to strengthen the Achilles tendon, right?

 

What I found was fascinating.  It turns out you get Achilles tendonitis not from stress on those tendons but from stress on the lower calf muscle, which sends fluid down into the Achilles tendon and makes it swell and hurt.  Wow.  The pain is not on the back of your heel where the tendon is, but on the sides of your foot behind your ankle.

 

Hmmm.

 

So I found some sports medicine exercises that were supposed to heal this up in a week.  Yeah, that would be a miracle. 

 

One involved a rolling pin.  I don't bake, so I dashed out the next day and bought a wooden one from Target.  Only to discover there are splinters in a wooden rolling pin. 

 

Yikes!!  Who knew?

 

So I covered it with a tube sock, and it works fab now.  That exercise is kinda cool.  You roll your calf back and forth across it.  The first time I did it I was shocked how many painful knots were in my lower calf muscle.  Afterwards you take your fingers and move the fluid up the tendon and back into the lower calf. 

 

I also found an exercise that involved the stairs in my house.  That exercise felt good, too.  Not as good as boinking on the stairs.  But nothing feels as good as boinking, right?  *wink*

 

I did these exercises every day before and after I ran, and then wrapped ice around my ankles for 20 minutes afterwards while I made dinner.  I also cut my running down from 3 miles/day to one mile/day.  It was just too painful to do more.  In fact, it hurt so much to run I thought I'd be stuck at one mile/day for months.

 

But guess what?  A week later the tendonitis was 99% healed.

 

WOOT!

 

And now I'm back up to running 2.5 miles/day, 6 days/week with no pain.  That's my 15 miles per week again. 

 

WOOT!

 

Yeah, the SexWitch is having a blast on her semi-vacation.  I'm also planning some day trips.  I had planned a road trip to visit friends in Georgia, but that one had to be rescheduled for the future. 

 

I also discovered I had no leopard-print panties in my panty drawer.

 

HORRORS!

 

They'd all gotten so old I tossed the last pair a few weeks ago.  So I bought more at the mall.  Leopard-print and black lace.  Yummmm!

 

Oh, and you'll be happy to know I've stopped fighting Winter.  I have.  Once again this hot weather chick has realized Winter and cold weather are gonna come no matter how much I wish they would STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!! 

 

I should put Daylight Savings Time in that category too.  Not fond of it either.

 

But Winter is gonna come no matter how much I protest.  So I found a cute blue jean blazer in the back of my closet I'd bought for booksignings a few years ago and had forgotten.  Alrightyyyy!  I bought a leopard print fleece scarf at Target for $12.99.  And some leopard-print gloves at TJMax for $12.99. 

 

And now I'm ready for winter.  Kinda.  Maybe.  NOT!!!!  *wink*

 

Laura Stamps (c)
Pagan Paranormal Erotica Novelist
(HOT vampires, shapeshifters, witches)
Email: laurastamps18@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.avampskiss.blogspot.com
My Kindle ebooks (all $0.99): http://ht.ly/4GPqd
Blog: http://www.erotica-laurastamps.blogspot.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/sexwitch
Pagan-Place: http://www.pagan-place.com/profile/LauraStamps